“You may not end up where you thought you’d be…but you’ll end up right where you’re meant to be.”

I love quotes!

They’re on the same level as awesome lyrics but in some weird way they’re more deep. And it’s like every quote I come across was meant for me!

This past week was quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. See, the beginning of the year I decided that the time has come for me to take the next step in “life”. While all my friends were getting married and starting families, I felt a bit of a void inside of me. Not loneliness or pity or sadness, just weird emptiness. This is when I made the bold decision which I have been flirting with for the past three years but just never had the courage to take the step…I decided to do my Masters in Sports Marketing.

This decision made me think though. Many people think I had it easy in life. Like everything was handed to me on a silver platter. However, that was never the case. I made a vow to myself that by the time I’m 30, I’ll have my Masters already OR I’ll be in the process of getting it…I’m turning 29 this year. And there was no way I was going to let my own insecurities and doubts come between me and my promise.

However, the past week I started doubting my decision. What if I’m just going into this because I want to prove a point to myself? What if I’m not mentally ready to be awesome? My main motivator is no longer in my corner so I do feel lost and uneasy. Another side of me however is doing the Homer Simpson “Woohoo” and is already planning the graduation party. This side is motivated by my angels who are looking out for me wherever I go and whatever I do. Maybe being scared is just part of the process…

I’m the best Dr Phil when it comes to my friends’ lives. I can give advice when needed, say a few encouraging words, and I’m even a good listener believe it or not (yes, I have verbal diarrhoea). But when it comes to my own life…geez, where do I begin? But I guess if life was easy, she’d  be a slut and we’d all be walking around with STDs.

On top of all this, I’m at a crossroad in my life. It’s like an avalanche of crap came rolling down the hill at once. Mentally, emotionally and physically drained! I’m confused, I’m tired, I’m over thinking EVERYTHING, I see things that shouldn’t be there, I read between non-existent lines to make myself feel better. This is why I felt a bit rejuvenated when I returned from a break from Cape Town on Monday. The only thing is the “problems” were waiting for me at home, like a faithful dog…

But you know what they say….once you start doing well at work, your personal life is bound to go up in smoke. So maybe it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.

Here’s to the Masters!!  Let’s keep smiling despite the rain

Love, Reesie

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