How long do you think you have to continue listening to someone after they have revealed they have a boyfriend already? I think 11 seconds is about okay. You know how it goes: you’re in the club on a Friday night, looking to have a good time; you’re watching the white people try and dance, which is funny as hell, I might add!

You then see a good looking girl who has strayed from the herd; you muster up all the courage you have and start chatting her up, fishing for bits of information you could use in your favour. About midway through the conversation, she mentions that she has a boyfriend (this is usually the part where guys just switch off and start looking at their drink or get that imaginary ‘important’ phone call). You shouldn’t take this the wrong way ladies, but we just don’t care from that point onwards.

It’s not that we mean to be rude, it’s just that we don’t like the idea of getting our head smashed in by some bloke who thinks we’re hitting on their girlfriend, when in fact, we were taking an important call the whole night! Now I don’t know about you guys, but I actually like my legs. I also quite enjoy walking without the use of crutches or even a wheelchair. Trust me, ladies like it when guys play the sympathy card when they’re injured.

The point is guys, that as soon as a lady you just happen to be chatting up in a club, even slightly mentions or gives you a hint or whiff that they have a boyfriend, husband, partner or “it’s complicated” type of thing, switch off or get away from the danger zone as quickly as possible, cause I can tell you now, it’s just going end badly. If you do however, find yourself in this situation, here are a few tips to help you get out of this mess, besides the aforementioned drink staring and important phone call jig:

• Slightly manoeuvre your body in the opposite direction of the person and point in the direction you want to go.
• Imagining ‘seeing’ a friend across the room and make your way to them.
• If music is playing, just interrupt them by saying this is your favourite song and then walk away while doing a little dance.
• Halfway through the conversation, feel through your pockets, and act as if you have lost your wallet or cellphone. Then walk away and proceed to ‘look’ for it.